WanderLUST

Hi Mom

For 3 dollars a night, I lived in a beautiful villa on the cliffs of Portugal overlooking the sea. I had chickens in the yard, a trellis of yellow hibiscus flowers over my door and a handsome Dutchman next door who inspired me to make this call to my mother.

Hi mom it's me. I fell in love again.
Don't laugh, please wait.
He's sweet, and if you meet
You'd say he's great.

What does he do? Well, he makes shoes
And sells them in the street.
He said to ask when you called
What size are your feet?

That's just a joke. OK we're broke.
And you and dad are snobs.
We'll get by, he has other jobs
Like what? Well -- He robs.

He held up a bank with some thugs. He also sells drugs.

Mom don't scream. So he dropped out at 14.
He isn't what you'd choose
He's divorced. And he has two kids
And five large tattoos.

He spent time behind bars, and not as a waiter. Can we talk about that later?

Mom, stay calm! You're hyperventilating!
We're not getting married -- only dating.
It's all been so newish,
By the way -- he isn't Jewish.

Now I know you'll be telling your friends I'm rebelling
Dating a drug-dealing thief
But you're the one who always said
"Sweetheart, it's what's underneath."

So why I'm confessing. Is I'd like your blessing,
Before we begin. Mom, I love him.