The Odyssey Rock
© Lyrics Melissa Levis, Music David Weinstein
Homer, a small,
bent old man in a toga stands at the foot of Mt. Parnassus and supplicates
the heavens.
Homer: Sing oh muse,
inspire me.
Help me write a masterpiece!
Sing oh muse on your lyre for me
Of times in Ancient Greece.
I've been toying
with a tale about a seafaring roamer
Help me hit a literary --
All Muses: Homer!!
Three gorgeous
muses descend from the mountain with yellow legal pads and pencils.
All Muses: You called?
Homer: You're here!!
Muses 2: We'll be your script doctor
Muse 1: But it'll cost you.
Homer: What?
Muse 3: Everyone
uses ideas of the muses, but never even thank us in the program!
Muse 1: We want 3% of the paperback rights.
Muse 2: 5% of Cliff Notes.
Muse 3: And 10% on all plush toys.
Homer: Wait a minute.
How do I know you're worth it?
Muse 1: We'll write
a story, that leaves readers in awe.
Muse 3: With a hero and his tragic flaw.
Muse 2: We'll make a climax, people have got to see
Homer: Eureka! I'll call it 'The Iliad' and 'The Odyssey!'
Muse 1: Mmm
Muse 2: sounds a little square.
Muse 3: How about:
All 3 Muses: 'The Odyssey Rock?'
The cast enters
as they are introduced by Homer and the Muses.
"THE ODYSSEY ROCK"
Homer: It'll star
'Odysseus the king!'
Who's cunning and fearless
Muses: Cunning and fearless!
Homer: On the battlefield - Muses: And in the bedroom.
All: He is peerless!
Muse 3: He's a hero!
Odysseus: I'm so
brave, it'll be a rave
Homer: (to the muses) This is art, not schlock!
All: Everybody dance -- do the Odyssey Rock!
Penelope: I'm the
faithful wife.
Helen: I'm the fickle beauty.
Paris & Menelaus: What a cutie!
Greek men: We're the soldiers who fight. And do our duty.
Muses: They're so daring!
Gods: We're the
Gods, who help their odds
Or cause a stumbling block.
All: Everybody dance -- Do the Odyssey Rock!
Muses: Poets will
sing of Ithaca for the ages
Odysseus and Penelope: It's a tale of love,
Soldiers: A wooden horse
Hera, Aphrodite, Athena: And an apple that enrages!
Tiresius: It's a
trip to the underworld
Muses 1, 2 & 3: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Tiresius: Deep down in Hades!
Muses 1, 2 & 3: Down in Hades!
Cyclops: It's the Cyclops!
Hermes: Hermes!
Circe: Circe!
Muses: The Sirens!
Calypso: And tempting ladies -- like Calypso.
All: It's guts and
gore and the Trojan War!
And selfish suitors who squawk
Poseidon: It's the aftermath of Poseidon's wrath
Aphrodite: With sex scenes that shock.
All: It's greed and pride
Helen: And a runaway bride!
All: With adventures 'round the clock!
Everybody dance -- Do the Odyssey Rock!
Muses: This'll be
a classic! An epic with no equal.
Homer: I will sell the movie rights!
Muses: First go write the sequel!
All: It's a classic
tale where heroes prevail
Muses: The audience will flock!
All: It's god vs. man and a king with a plan
Muses: They'll be lines around the block!
All: It's a 20 year quest to survive every test
Muses: It's bigger than Woodstock!
All: Everybody dance! Do the Odyssey Rock
Muse 3: Here's to
our plot to be!
Muse 1: Folks'll pay a lot to see
Muse 2: Crowds will be hot to see
Homer: Everybody's got to see
All: The Odyssey Rock! Do the Odyssey Rock, Do the Odyssey --
Homer: Ladies, it's
a deal!
All: Rock!
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